I’m Ashley, and my husband and I have been struggling to get pregnant since September 2012. It’s been a rough journey, but I have gained loads of strength through the years. I’ve become so passionate about infertility, and my dream is to help other couples cope with the hardships. We are finally starting the process of a gestational carrier, so I thought this would be the perfect time to start blogging! I hope I can somehow spread awareness and encouragement through my words.

The Girl that I’ve Become

It’s hard to explain to you
the girl that I’ve become
This chapter in life has changed me
more than any other one
It’s ripped me into pieces and left
me lying on the floor
It’s taken away my pride
It’s striped me to the core
It’s left me feeling empty
only a broken heart to show
It’s hurt my heart and spirit
more than you could ever know
I’ve been negative about this life,
something I’m not known to be
I’m overwhelmed with bitterness and fear
and consumed with jealousy
The tears roll down my face
Another month gone by
The ending doesn’t make sense
and I wonder if God even hears my cry
But the girl I’ve become is stronger
than the girl I used to be
I’m not even sure the girl of the past
would even recognize me
I’ve fought so many sleepless nights
but managed still to smile
This girl that I’ve become
will be here for a while
No where in my story will they
ever say, “she decided to quit.”
Because I’m stronger than that option
And, oh, my fire’s been lit
With my head held high and fists in the air
I will continue this bumpy fight
I’m not sure how my story will end
but I know it will be alright
One way or another
my baby you will be
you’ll be worth the longest fight
my pain will be set free
The courage I have gathered
has kept me standing tall
The girl that I’ve become will continue to stand
no matter how many times I fall

Ashley